Pray

Casey has been gone for 4 days now.  I literally feel pain when I think about the next 6 weeks.  This is the hardest thing that I've ever done.  I miss him so much.  I've been writing him daily letters but so far I haven't heard anything from him so I don't know where to send them.  Casey and I had seen each other every day since he kissed me at the lake.  I think when I start getting letters from him it will feel better but until then I don't know what I'm going to do.

I heard a beautiful song today by Justin Bieber.  It's called pray.  I definitely can relate to the chorus of this song that says:

But I know there's sunshine behind that rain
I know there's good times behind that pain, hey
Can you tell me how I can make a change
I close my eyes and I can see a better day
I close my eyes and pray

I've done my fair share of praying since Friday.  I'm constantly asking for strength to get through the next 6 weeks.  And I pray always that Heavenly Father will give Casey the strength to rise to and conquer any challenge that he is faced with while at OCS.  I'm so proud of  him.  He is my best friend, my first and only love, and my hero.  I can't wait until I see him again.

Justin Bieber- Pray

The Beginning of a Long Stretch...

Casey left for Officer Candidate School early this morning.  He will be in Virginia for the next 6 weeks undergoing some crazy intense training.  After sneaking him home last night from sneaking him out of the hotel he was supposed to be staying at I dropped him off again at around 4:30 AM.  I'm pretty proud of myself for holding it together pretty well this morning.  Of course there were tears but I did a good job keeping it contained.    On our drive to the hotel this morning we realized that today marks 10 months to the day that Casey kissed me for the first time and changed both our lives.  Even though our relationship advanced quickly from there, we couldn't know then that we would have this life together now.  I love my husband so much.  It's been just a few hours since I said good-bye to him but I already miss him so much.  I am completely dreading the next 6 weeks.  I'm seriously not sure how I'm going to function.  Today I feel like I'm just kind of in shock.  I cry sporadically and feel as though at any moment I'm just going to come apart.  This is definitely the beginning of a long stretch.   

Little Miracles

Sunday, Casey and I were the direct recipients of several different miracles.  It surprises me every day how shaky my faith can be when Heavenly Father's hand is so obvious in my life.  I've seen so many little miracles in the past few days.  It just blows my mind.  I know that Heavenly Father will strengthen both of us while we are apart and we will grow closer because of it.  I can see the various ways that He has prepared us for this difficult time and I know that He will get us through it.  I'm grateful for these miracles and blessings in my life.    

The Temple

Casey and I were able to make it to the Salt Lake City Temple tonight.  I'm glad we did.  We were only there for a short time but the peace that I feel there is incredible.  I'm grateful for all the temples around the world and especially to be so blessed to be surrounded by them here in the Salt Lake Valley.

All things in my life I am grateful for...

Today has been a special day for me.  Not because something incredible has been happening, in fact, it was a pretty cruddy day all together.  But because I was able to start seeing and realizing that I truly am grateful for everything in my life.

I was running late for work this morning and didn't have time to pack a lunch, we didn't have the stuff to make my usual salad anyway.  So my sweet husband volunteered to go buy the stuff, make me one, and then come have lunch with me.  I was surprised to see him with a Cafe Rio salad when my lunch break finally rolled around.  It's my favorite, and it was a little thing, but it made my whole day.  And that's when I realized that the one thing that I am most grateful for in my life is my Heavenly Father who directed me into the arms of the most caring person I will ever meet.  This shows how shaky my faith can be in Him but it blows my mind each day that my happily ever after includes Casey Zimmer.  I love him so much, and more than I could ever describe.

Tonight, Casey and I are planning on going to the Temple.  My heart feels peace there.  In my increasingly chaotic world the peace of the Temple is the one place I can go to just feel better.  That and into the arms of my husband.

My new goal is to post each day something that I'm grateful for.  I know I won't be perfect at it but it's worth a shot :)